My heart will go on

这几天荷兰的雨真多，天阴沉沉的。不过好消息还是一个接一个，主席在上海有offer了忙着取英文名字；师妹在新加坡也顺利进入一家research lab。祝大家都能心想事成。

 

只有当整理东西的时候，才发现自己平时积攒了多少没用的东西。上星期在学校整理电脑，才发现自己的文件目录简直一塌糊涂。不管是文件命名，还是文件目录的设置，丝毫看不出一个理工科学生的逻辑。今后得好好改进才是。

 

昨天得这个时候，我应该还在Audioturm 4号厅被答辩委员会的几位老大围攻（下午4点到5点）。荷兰的答辩形式化相当的严重，用我老板（我有三个老板，当我提到老板的时候，默认值是被大家一致赞为洪七公的可爱老头）的话说，这主要是个仪式，而且是为准博士家人准备的仪式。可惜我的家人都没有能够来，不过有众多的朋友到场支持，实在是让我信心足了不少。

 

虽然只是个仪式，10分钟的presentation之后，就被各位老大们轮番轰炸。第一个提问的是我的偶像（我的偶像是有点多，不过这个是为数不多的我们这行的一个）。我论文中用的模型最开始就是他发展起来的，算是开山祖师了。可想而知，他要想刁难刁难我那是相当的容易。幸好去年我去他组里混了一个月，事先做好了公关工作，他问了其他的不刁难的问题。可怜的我还是相当的紧张，头脑一片空白，简直都不知道在说什么，稀里糊涂的把他打发了，他也很宽容的说“I am satisfied".真对不起偶像，sigh。

 

接下来似乎状态要好一点。不过答的太快了，以至于到最后有人有很多的时间集中轰炸。幸好我坚信（I believe) 这只是个仪式，所以没有被敌人的嚣张气焰吓倒，据理力争，终于让他satisfied。 违心的把，我知道。不过人一生中要做很多这样的事情，有什么办法。

 

最后是我老板问了我一些问题。基本上都胡弄过去了。然后就看见那个亲爱的，慈眉善目的老头举着权杖走了进来。他的速度为什么那么慢？当他吧权杖往地上一砸，喊了一句没人听懂的荷兰语，我的心花怒放了。后来就是常规的仪式了，委员们休息了一会，然后重新进场，然后主席就让大老板（特别申明，非洪七）给我diploma，然后致了一些词。后来我得老板又过来给我致词，我相信很多话我们是可以互相感应到的。

 

当我听到他说几年前我开始这个项目，那时候谁也没有料到事情的发展是这样。他在我毕业之前就已经去了另外一个学校，而我也已经准备投身另外的行业。几年的时间足够发生太多的事情，让人很难确定到底是我们在主宰命运，还是命运推动着我们。

 

不过，这些已经不再重要了。因为现在又处在另外一个起点，下一站在哪里，我不敢，也不能回答。无论如何，我应该感谢生活，现在终于可以以一种最relaxed的状态，度过在这个地方的最后一段时间。

 

虽然很俗气，但是我是俗人，所以我还是要感谢很多人，所有昨天到了现场还有没有到现场的关心我的朋友们，谢谢你们。当一切象过眼云烟都飞散的时候，我相信我心中永远不会忘记的，会是我得朋友们和我之间曾经发生过的，所有的点滴。

 

 

师妹说我最近很忙，没时间更新，让我好汗颜。赶紧来说点啥。

说不忙吧，整天其实没怎么闲着；说忙吧，我实在说不出来我干了些啥。你说人怎么就这么矛盾呢。

这个月初去Baltimore开了一次会，认识了若干朋友，还去华盛顿拜访布什总统，未遂。海港城市的阳光相当的灿烂，据说跟大西洋这边的荷兰有天壤之别。我在阳光下再次感到自己的无知－－随便走到哪个session都听不太懂别人在讲些啥，无知就无知吧，天天讲人权，我就不信还没有个无知权了。

现在要开始准备答辩的事情了。夹杂其中的还有其他的事情，让我这个庸人不得不自扰。一想到庸人显然处于正态分布的中心，一颗平庸的心就又灿烂开了。

想法很多，写的出来的很少。等哪天庸人觉得实在想倾诉了，就来长篇大论的写。

'Dear Mr X,

As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and me during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.

Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I  know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.

You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you.........

You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation.

However, I have a few parting thoughts.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad reference. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the company.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror n.de. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of reference. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the reference on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!

Wishing you a grand and glorious day'.